absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
