Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize