So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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