Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
