Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize