pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
