we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So much Jack, so little girl.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
