awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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