Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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