i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
