Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is Oprah even human
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize