I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
