I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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