I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
