It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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