It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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