If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
