i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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