Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
