Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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