So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He shit in the fireplace
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
