Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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