and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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