Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
