Walk of Shame. In a state park.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
