guys are only as good as the porn they watch
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
