im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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