i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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