Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
