I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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