You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
