i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
