he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
