Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she smelled like a LAN party
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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