scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
