how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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