For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He did a backflip because drugs
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
