I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
