hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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