idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
