Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She needs sedatives and a leash
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
