I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
