but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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