Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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