I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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