she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
