Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
