Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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