I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
