I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
