somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
