remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
