And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
a search helicopter?!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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