Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
