I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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