8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
