Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize