Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's shark week go big or go home
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
