Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
love makes seman taste better
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Are we still banned from the library?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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