I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
