so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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