okay pat passed out under dana's car
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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