There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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