what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
