Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
