This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize