i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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