So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
