a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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