no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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