Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
