I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
